Shedding tears over floor plans may not be how you envisioned your marriage would begin. But the fact is, getting a new home and agreeing on an interior concept can put tremendous strain on even the most compatible of couples.

After all, a new home is likely to be one of your largest investments and it’s something the two of you will have to live with – and live in – for years to come.

So if you believe in the saying that the couple who renovates together, stays together, how do you go about sorting out your interior differences? Should you sit down like adults, discuss everything in detail before coming to a compromise? Or split the work right down to the nitty-gritty?

We got couples who survived contentious remodelling projects to share their stories.

MONEY FOR MY HONEY
Budget is one of the most common issues that causes couples to fall out, as Melanie and Jon Wong, both accountants, discovered. “We had splurged on our wedding, honeymoon and buying our flat, so Jon was watching every cent that went into the renovation. But I felt it was worthwhile investing a little more as we would be living in the home for a long time,” says Melanie.

“He told sales assistants stuff like, ‘Just show us the cheapest model’ which drove me crazy. We ended up having shouting matches even at the showrooms!”

First things first, sit down and work out your finances. Draw up a budget the two of you can agree on. To ascertain if the sum is enough, talk to friends, contractors and designers. You can split the money among the different areas of the house or the different types of work that need to be done (such as plumbing, electrical appliances and wet works), but stick as firmly to it as is humanly possible.

Bear in mind that renovations tend to go over budget, so set aside an allowance for that. Nonetheless, don’t feel pressured to complete everything at one go, especially if it’s going to be a financial stretch. You can alwaysget more work done, or make more purchases over time.

THE WAY WE LIVE
Traditional versus modern? Romantic versus retro? Instead of splitting into two camps, remember that both of you are on the same side. For starters, discuss your priorities and how you would like to live in your home. That’s how hospitality officer Seah Ai Ling found parity with her husband, Shen.

Said Ai Ling, “I like dark colours but Shen prefers neutrals, and we argued about it constantly. One day, during a visit to the flat, we started talking about how life would be like in our new home, how we would come home from a hard day at work and chill out in our own living room, and stuff like that.

“It made us realise we wanted the same things from our home: A relaxing, sophisticated space where we could lounge freely. We realised it wasn’t the colour but the overall effect we felt strongly about – so all along, we had been on the same page! Now, the living room is in neutrals with luxurious dark-coloured drapes. It’s exactly the luxe lounge we
both wanted.”

THINK ECLECTIC
Fortunately for warring domestics the world over, the eclectic look is a major trend now. Current fashion dictates that a ‘70s modular sofa can sit harmoniously next to a Victorian-style armchair, so couples with disparate tastes can mix and match to their heart’s content.

The happiest compromise between drastically different styles is to incorporate select elements from various interior styles against a neutral background. For instance, a retro lighting fixture adds funk to a minimalist dining set. Alternatively, a modern Asian-inspired bed gets a dash of cheer from pop art-inspired wallpaper.

To ensure your styles gel nicely, you may want to hire an interior designer. But if you’re going DIY, it is wise to pick quality over quantity when selecting elements. So instead of crowding a room with stylistically conflicting items, pick a few strong pieces in complementary colours for  harmonious and deliberate look.

 

For more, get your copy of Her World Brides Jun-Aug 08 issue.