Q&A

Chic, affordable favours, seating headaches banished and keeping peace in the family are all secrets to a memorable wedding.

By CYNTHIA TAN

What do I do with the dress once I bring it home from the salon?

Your dress will need to breathe, so do take it out of the garment bag but don’t remove any stuffing specially placed in the sleeves, bodice, or skirt – these help to keep the shape of the dress. Next, find an area in your home that’s hardly used – the guest bedroom for example – and hang your dress on the back of the door. Make sure that the gown doesn’t brush the floor in case the hem gets dirty. If the train is too long, and sweeps the ground, set a clean white sheet (bedsheets work as well) on the floor, and spread the train on top of it.

Is it necessary to ask the groom’s brothers and sisters to participate in the wedding? I have many friends who are more than willing to help.
Generally to keep the peace and “enter” the family with blessings, it’s best to ask a future brother- or sister-in-law to be in the wedding party. After all, you are going to be related to these people for a long time. If there are extenuating circumstances – the wedding is really tiny, or your fiance’s family is huge – asking a sister to do the church reading, or a brother to offer toast or help with the music, is a good way to make everyone feel valued.

What is an appropriate gift for a flower girl?
You’ve got lots of choices that are perfect for a little girl aged
between four and eight. I love miniature bride and groom dolls or
stuffed bears dressed as the bride and groom, a tiny charm bracelet or
heart locket on a chain, children’s books, or a computer game.

Is it better to have a table full of single people at the reception, or should I mix singles with couples?
I wouldn’t draw attention to any particular group of guests. You may have good intentions seating single friends together, because you hope they might get together, but your single friends may not appreciate the fact that they’re attending a wedding without a date. But if your group of single friends happen to know each other but don’t see each other often, then they would love you for seating them together so they can catch up. Seat single friends with other couples and if you want to do a little matchmaking, do it subtly with not more than four singles to a table of
three couples.

My reception theme is hearts. Any suggestions for inexpensive favours?
Favours don’t have to be elaborate to be appreciated. We love the idea of Cupid-inspired cookies, done with heart-shaped cookie cutters easily available at supply stores such as Sia Huat. Then get bridesmaids and friends who know their way around the kitchen to help bake your hearts out! Store baked cookies in the freezer – you can keep them there for up to three weeks, thaw and pack them into pretty jars or cellophane bags, tied with ribbons in your wedding colours.

Is an engagement party a must? My fiancee’s parents are insisting.
An engagement party isn’t a must but it isn’t a bad idea, I think. It’s a good opportunity for both sets of parents (and attendants if you want) to get to know each other better. Not forgetting, a party is a party – it doesn’t have to be boring as long as you’re willing to be creative (ideas must of course go down well with the parents too) – so anything goes.

From a seaside restaurant dinner in Sembawang or Pasir Ris – both have a lovely ambience – to laid-back backyard barbecues, you can make it as memorable as you want to add to your the-journey-to-being-married-scrapbook! Just remember to collect mementos to make your scrapbook look more interesting.

Do we need a seating chart, or can our guests seat themselves?
Now, that depends on the size of your wedding. With 50 or fewer guests, and a reception that’s more relaxed, you can certainly have “free seating”. Otherwise, forget about guests seating themselves. A seating chart helps avoid unnecessary confusion; imagine guests trying to find empty seats when dinner is ready to begin. Worse still for those with family and trying to sit together at the same table. Sounds like a public foodcourt? It might look like that too. So save the musical chairs for a real game on the dance floor – now get cracking on the guest list.

We’ve had our ROM but the reception will be a year and a half later. Meanwhile, is it necessary to announce to our family and friends that we’re married? How best to spread the news?
Personally I think it’s lovely to let your nearest and dearest know you’ve tied the knot, particularly if you’re going to be living together after the legal solemnisation but before the customary ceremony. Traditionally in the West, a announcement would be placed in the newspapers but that might seem a bit cold. Your best bet would be an e-mail blast. And for those closer to you, try a card with personal notes to announce the happy news.